Monday, January 17, 2011

fresh anointing

This past weekend I went back home with my roommate and sister Hannah. We got to spend some great time with my family and enjoy my mom's awesome cooking. We also got to visit Mama John. For those of you who don't stalk this blog regularly, Mama John is an incredible woman of God that we met at David and Leah's wedding. She's Leah's grandmother. She spent over 20 years as a missionary/nurse in different parts of Africa (Kenya, Ethiopia, etc.).

Mama John remembered us (although she called me "Hannah" and Hannah "Alex") and welcomed us into her small room at an assisted living facility in Irmo. She has very poor eyesight but that didn't keep her from walking over to us and giving us great big hugs. We sat down in pink recliners and began to talk. She began to talk, and Hannah and I just listened.

She told us stories like you would never believe. Stories from her childhood and college years, stories about marriage and motherhood, stories about loss and climbing mountains. She told us stories of bush nursing, and her time in war-torn countries. Stories of violence and killing, of redemption and hope, stories that are similar to the kind you see in movies or read about in books on famous politicians or spies. All of them true, and all of them personal experiences. Her eyesight might be bad, and she might walk with a very pink cane - but Mama John's memory is sharper than my own.

We asked her questions - "How do you see all of the suffering - the dying children and the ravages of war - and still be so confident in God's goodness - still have so much faith?" "How did you cope with all of the sad things that you saw day after day?" "What one thing did you do each day to prepare yourself for all of it?"

She began, in true Mama John form, to speak to us about the Word, and prayer, and memorizing Scripture - but really she just spoke about knowing the Lord. She said she had moments where she would scream, "God, where are you?" She told us of the time in her life when prayer and spending time in the Word didn't seem important or necessary, and so she went her own way. She said, "That was the time when I needed to be praying and in the Word the most." She spoke about how Satan is the great deceiver - how sin looks beautiful at times and, even though we're forgiven, there are great consequences that come with sin.

She said to stay in the Word - to keep reading until you get a word and then take it with you for the rest of your day. She spoke to us about how listening and waiting were the hardest parts of prayer. She spoke about asking for a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit each day. Even though she knew she had him inside of her already, she wanted each day a fresh anointing as her "daily bread." She said she would wait, and not move, until she heard from him (though not always audibly).

She spoke to us about the power of touch, and of love. Even in her late 80's, she spoke of how God used Caleb into his old age - of how she felt like she had more mountains to climb. She talked with us about her dreams to see a church rise up in a certain war-torn, Islamic-dominated country. She told us about her desire to share Jesus with other residents in her new home, and how she was beginning to get to know them (mind you, she's only been there for a week or so). Then she prayed for us, and we were blessed to pray for her. Riding home, we talked about our time with her and how we felt like we'd just come back from a refreshing retreat.

One thing she told me stood out to me especially. I've been so afraid for the majority of my life, but each time I go into a new clinical setting, I'm worried I won't know what to do. She said that God has given her many jobs over the course of her life that she wasn't equipped to do, but that He did the equipping. She would walk into each day giving the Lord all that she had to give, and then she would watch Him provide and work in His way. She said, "Know that it's God calling you. If He's calling you, then you just give Him all that you have and He'll give you all that you need."

Friends - don't move from the secret place until you get a word from the Lord this week. Take it with you and be obedient to what He calls you to. Let's get to know Him and trust Him alone. He's good.
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

a bit about me

a bit about me:

1. I love hot tea. Recently, I splurged and ordered some of my favorite tea online (curse shipping and handling btw). What kind of tea? Mint and green teas, especially when combined. Right now I'm enjoying Moroccan Mint Green Tea and Mellow Moments Herbal - all by Stash.

2. If I'm not in class or at home, chances are you'll find me in a local coffee shop known as MoeJoe's Coffee Co... or Moe's as we refer to it in our apartment. It's full of couches and chairs that give it a warm feeling, like coming home. I'm going to miss this place when I graduate.

3. I love bubble baths.

4. I'm currently reading Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick, Trusting God by Jerry Bridges, and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte... it will be a miracle if I finish even one of them. I've been reading Sun Stand Still since this fall.

5. The highlight of my week was probably getting to cook a complete meal and eat with my roommate Hannah. I got to try something new - and it looked exactly like the picture in the cookbook (never happens) - and it tasted good, too.

6. I don't know what to do with myself when I have time off. I have two free days during the week this semester, and after this past week I think I'm going to have to find new hobbies.

7. I like starting IVs and sticking people with needles. I'm not an awful person, I hate inflicting pain on other people. I just happen to be a nursing student - and I like that little rush I get when I start a good IV.

8. My favorite late-night snack is Cocoa Puffs

9. I've already resolved that, if I move to a new city after graduating, I'm going to have to get a dog. I can't live by myself. Something about coming from a decent sized family - I enjoy time to myself, but I have to hear other people in the same house.

10. I wake up early just so I can have a slow mornings. I love staying in bed and getting used to the day.

Monday, January 10, 2011

an appetite for mud

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased -C.S. Lewis

Andy Stanley was talking about appetites at Passion a week or so ago - I didn't get to hear all of his talk, but I did hear a bit of it. Here were some things I took away from it:

1. Appetites are from God, but they've become distorted in many ways
2. An appetite always says "now" and never "later"

Lately, I've been really struggling with trusting Jesus and taking Him at His Word. I think it's one thing to be tempted, but another to completely disobey with an attitude of arrogance and rebellion - and I've experienced both in the past few weeks.
I've been feeling as though God's holding out on me - like I'm missing out on all of this stuff that doesn't seem to be a big deal or carry the consequences that He says it does. This is where the lack of trust comes in - revealing a complete lack of knowledge and confidence on my part in God's character. He's good, and He's for my good.
Not only do I think Lewis was right when he said, "We are far too easily pleased" - I think he was onto something when he spoke about a child with a limited imagination. It's like being a kid and choosing a candy bar over a piece of your favorite homemade dessert, but much worse. Not only do I abuse grace by fooling around in the mud, I insult God with my inability to receive the inheritance He has for me (which is pride). I have traded in my birthright for an appetite that screams for immediate satisfaction. The only problem is that I'm not satisfied at all and I'm covered in mud.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

a much needed day off and an honest conversation

Today I was blessed to go up to Charlotte with a good friend and sister of mine. On the way up we stopped to see my aunt and then we were able to grab coffee (that none of us drank) with her friend. We finished up the day by having dinner with our wise friend Meredith and then headed back home. It was just the two of us for a good bit of the day. The two of us, two iPods, and one fickle GPS with a handsome Australian accent that repeatedly said, "Recalculating" as we kept taking wrong turns.

Today was refreshing in an odd way. Our topics of conversation ranged from shallow to incredibly honest and vulnerable, funny to the more serious, light to the deeper parts that make us human. I had every thought that we would get to Charlotte a few hours before dinner and have fun exploring the city, but I didn't think we would talk about some of the things we did.

We talked about dating and how every one's getting married. We covered crushes, ideas for life after college, and things from high school that should have stayed in high school. We talked about music and mentioned how it was a shame John Mayer happens to be a jerk in real life. But we also talked about things like sex, men, weight, and wounds. Words were spoken that I hadn't really said aloud before, words that no one really says out loud anymore.

I will not deny that I'm insecure, but I have used insecurity as a crutch for too long. I think that something powerful has the potential to happen when we start to talk to one another about things that no one seems to talk about, especially in the church. We tell our teenagers and young adults not to have sex, but do we tell them why? What's at stake if we don't seek purity? We tell women not to be insecure, but do we tell them they are beautiful? And if we do, do we just say it to slap a Band-Aid on low self-esteem or do we make time for an honest conversation? We tell our men not to look at porn - but what about women who are addicted to it as well? We don't talk about the consequences of decisions anymore.

Maybe we should talk about things. Maybe we should start to have some honest conversations about what we're thinking and struggling over - about how some days (maybe most days) it's a fight to pursue integrity and purity, it's a fight to live in victory.

I love the church - not because it's perfect or because it's doing everything "right" - but because it's the Body and Bride of Christ. I wonder what would happen if Christians began to have honest conversations with one another about the hard stuff, the gross stuff, the struggle. I wonder what would happen if Christians began to speak honestly about their addictions and temptations. I wonder what would happen if we stopped trying to "have it all together" by ignoring real struggles and fearing man. I can't help but think that people would be set free from bondage and loneliness. I can't help but think that the world might see Jesus for what He is - our only Rescue - because the only thing that separates me from the world is Jesus' presence in my life. He has made all things new, not my own effort. And I dare to hope that I was not meant to do life alone, to struggle with temptation alone, nor to walk in victory alone.

<3a

Saturday, January 1, 2011

1/1/11

I just finished watching the first night of Passion on livestream - it's happening now through January 4th so you should check it out.

One of my best (and oldest) friends got married last night. His bride Leah, one of my friends and sisters in Christ, is awesome. She happens to be related to one of the coolest women I've met. Mama John is Leah's grandmother - She is 88 years old and beautiful. Mama John is a nurse and has worked overseas as a missionary in many countries, including several in East Africa. I was so blessed to get to meet her at the wedding and listen to her toast David and Leah. Her toast was a worship service in itself - she gave an entire commentary on Paul's passage on love in 1 Corinthians 13 - so much wisdom it was crazy. When we left the wedding we stopped to say bye to her, she grabbed Hannah and I and blessed us with more stories of God's faithfulness. She said something that stood out to me so much, "You've got to have a dream." We hugged her then went to say bye to Leah's mom, another incredible woman. She mentioned to us that Mama John would be moving into an assisted living facility. Of all the Christian-based homes they looked at, they settled on a facility that was not faith-based. She said it was a perfect mission field for Mama John who stated, "I feel like God's got one more mountain for me to climb."
I can't wait to go visit Mama John and learn more from her - how I want that kind of faith and perspective!
Here are some pictures from the wedding.....
Mr. and Mrs. David Cress
Hannah and Mama John
My lovely parents
Cinderella (Emmy) and my adorable dates (Michael and Jack)
My amazing sister Hannah

Blessings in Christ,
<3 a