a much needed day off and an honest conversation

Today I was blessed to go up to Charlotte with a good friend and sister of mine. On the way up we stopped to see my aunt and then we were able to grab coffee (that none of us drank) with her friend. We finished up the day by having dinner with our wise friend Meredith and then headed back home. It was just the two of us for a good bit of the day. The two of us, two iPods, and one fickle GPS with a handsome Australian accent that repeatedly said, "Recalculating" as we kept taking wrong turns.

Today was refreshing in an odd way. Our topics of conversation ranged from shallow to incredibly honest and vulnerable, funny to the more serious, light to the deeper parts that make us human. I had every thought that we would get to Charlotte a few hours before dinner and have fun exploring the city, but I didn't think we would talk about some of the things we did.

We talked about dating and how every one's getting married. We covered crushes, ideas for life after college, and things from high school that should have stayed in high school. We talked about music and mentioned how it was a shame John Mayer happens to be a jerk in real life. But we also talked about things like sex, men, weight, and wounds. Words were spoken that I hadn't really said aloud before, words that no one really says out loud anymore.

I will not deny that I'm insecure, but I have used insecurity as a crutch for too long. I think that something powerful has the potential to happen when we start to talk to one another about things that no one seems to talk about, especially in the church. We tell our teenagers and young adults not to have sex, but do we tell them why? What's at stake if we don't seek purity? We tell women not to be insecure, but do we tell them they are beautiful? And if we do, do we just say it to slap a Band-Aid on low self-esteem or do we make time for an honest conversation? We tell our men not to look at porn - but what about women who are addicted to it as well? We don't talk about the consequences of decisions anymore.

Maybe we should talk about things. Maybe we should start to have some honest conversations about what we're thinking and struggling over - about how some days (maybe most days) it's a fight to pursue integrity and purity, it's a fight to live in victory.

I love the church - not because it's perfect or because it's doing everything "right" - but because it's the Body and Bride of Christ. I wonder what would happen if Christians began to have honest conversations with one another about the hard stuff, the gross stuff, the struggle. I wonder what would happen if Christians began to speak honestly about their addictions and temptations. I wonder what would happen if we stopped trying to "have it all together" by ignoring real struggles and fearing man. I can't help but think that people would be set free from bondage and loneliness. I can't help but think that the world might see Jesus for what He is - our only Rescue - because the only thing that separates me from the world is Jesus' presence in my life. He has made all things new, not my own effort. And I dare to hope that I was not meant to do life alone, to struggle with temptation alone, nor to walk in victory alone.

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