a marathon marriage

I run. Not for very long distances, and not very quickly at all, but I run every now and then. Moving to Nashville has been tough because I can’t find any “safe” places to run around my apartment. My solo trail adventures were stopped after my coworkers cautiously reminded me that this is not Chapin, SC. I listened to their wisdom and I’ve been sticking to the treadmill during this rather chilly weather. While I should probably run more in my physical life, I run much more in my spiritual life…and I run from the safest person far too much.

My freshmen year of college I was driving home after a spiritually heavy week. I had the blessing of being prayed over by a guy who had a very similar struggle with anxiety attacks, panic, and depression – only he had been delivered from it. So when I say heavy, I don’t mean bad – I just mean there was a lot going on. Anyway, I was driving home and I had this vision – or picture, or daydream – whatever. I was wearing a white dress and standing alone outside a stone chapel. It was my wedding day and I was the only one left to walk into the church. For some reason, I was afraid. I didn’t know who was on the other side of those doors – and what if there was no one there at all waiting for me at the end of the aisle? As I was about to run, the wooden doors opened and at the end of the aisle was a man – who I understood to be Jesus. He was firmly planted, unmoved, and His eyes spoke the very truth into my fears that He wasn’t leaving; He was inviting me to come. I stood there frozen in place and the picture was gone. I was driving down the highway sobbing.

You can judge me for how cheesy that all sounded – but I’m not exaggerating or trying to be dramatic. At this time in my life, I was the complete skeptic – especially when it came to visions and healing. What bothered me most – for a good few years – was that I never saw myself walking down the aisle.

That same tendency to run is still present in my walk with Jesus – though often it’s not deliberate. Most of the time it’s more subtle, fueled by lies and assumptions that are so easy to believe when I forget to remember God’s heart towards me and His character. Often it comes after I completely blow it. Rather than running towards the Lord, I distance myself from Him. I spend less time with Him during the week, and before I know it I feel like I’m oceans away from Him. It’s small, normal things – like choosing to listen to the radio during my morning commute, watching the weather report or making breakfast before work (instead of eating a protein bar on the way), or hitting snooze just one time too many in the morning – that steal away time from His presence. In themselves, none of it is bad, but when it’s driven by guilt and avoidance then each is a step in a marathon of withdrawal.

This morning I realized how little I actually rest in His presence. How rare it is that I stop everything and just wait for Him. If I’m being completely honest, most of the time it’s because I’m afraid of what He’ll say to me. Fear stems from three scenarios that run through my head each time: 1. Either He’ll come at me harshly, 2. He won’t show up at all, or 3. I’ll actually have to respond to what He tells me – I can’t avoid it or fain ignorance.

The truth is being still before the Lord is difficult… It’s hard for me to be still. But this morning I realized (once again) that the Lord doesn’t put up walls like I do in our relationship. Jesus is my peace – He destroyed the barrier wall of sin in my relationship with the Lord. Although my sin separates me from experiencing intimacy with Jesus, it’s because I’m choosing to walk away from Him – It’s not because He alters. 

When someone hurts me, it’s my first response to put up a wall. When it happens repeatedly, the wall gets bigger and bigger, until I’m completely cut off emotionally from that person. But my first response is not Jesus’ response to me. He doesn’t react out of disappointment because He’s already dealt with all of my sin. He can’t rebuild a wall that He Himself destroyed.

Don’t misunderstand me, sin always hurts the Lord. It’s like a slap in His face each time, because when you love someone it hurts to see them engage in self-destructive behavior, become a slave to lies, or settle for anything less than what’s best for them. He rescued us for so much more. I could be wrong, but the distance and the walls I feel in my relationship with the Lord are almost always a result of my running away from Him, not His movement away from me. He’ll invite me, call me, woo me, and pursue me the entire time – and He knows exactly how to draw me back to Himself. In our marriage, He’s continually reminding me of His faithfulness and inviting me to rest securely in it.

I feel like I just rambled in the most disorganized, nonsensical manner, but I hope you get something encouraging out of it. Jesus invites you to trust Him and feed on His faithfulness (Ps 37:3NASB). Running is healthy and encouraged – as long as it’s in the right direction.

Wishing you warmth and sunshine from this frigid city,

<3 a

some veggie recipes for you

I thought I would post some recipes while I’m sorting through all of the thoughts in my head. So before you cringe at the ingredients, just know that they’re very tasty and I’ve tried them out J

I started “juicing” last week which, being without a juicer, has proved to be very interesting. If you have a juicer, Congrats – you’re ahead of the game. If you’re like me and just have a blender, the process will be a bit more hands-on – just make sure you have a mesh strainer and you’re good to go.

I got these juice recipes from a health magazine – so here they are (and no, I didn't name them):

"Power Gulp" – don’t let the green color gross you out, it’s actually really good.

1 cup sliced kale (from about 3 large leaves) --> I just used three large leaves.
1 cup of seedless green grapes --> Publix was out of them, so I used 2 Kiwis. The kiwi’s give it a very acidic kick – so if you can go with the grapes, use the grapes. If you’re sick and need some Vitamin C – go with the kiwi.  
1 English cucumber, thickly sliced
1 small Granny Smith Apple, chopped and cored.
1/2 cup of water.
**I added a large handful of baby spinach too**

Blend, strain, and thin with additional water if you need to. It says it makes 2 cups of juice, you can refrigerate it for up to 2 days, shake before drinking.

Nutritional Info: 1 cup: 110 Calories, Fat 0.6g, Protein 3g, Carbs 27g, Sugars 18g, Fiber 3g, Iron 1mg, Sodium 19mg, Calcium 77mg.

"Detox" – if you’re not a fan of beets, you probably won’t like this, but it is a great detox juice. I drank it in small doses throughout my day, which made it much more palatable.

2 tablespoons of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped (1/2 ounce) --> I used 3.
1 medium beet (8 ounces) scrubbed and coursely chopped
4 medium carrots (8 ounces), scrubbed and sliced.
1 medium apple (8 ounces), cored and cubed
1 cup of water.

Blend, Strain, thin with water if you need to. Makes 2 cups, refrigerate for up to 2 days, shake before serving.

Nutritional Info: 1 Cup: 155 Calories, Fat 0.7g, Protein 3g, Carbs 37g, Sugars 25g, Fiber 8g, Iron 1mg, Sodium 168mg, Calcium 62mg.

Kale “Chips”

I had heard about kale chips that you could purchase in the store, but I never thought about making them until tonight. I tossed some in with some other veggies I was going to roast, and they turned out delightful. If you can’t tell, Kale has become a relatively new veggie on my menu and I’m really loving how versatile it can be.

Preheat your oven to 425F. You’ll want a a roll-pan or cookie sheet.

Wash your kale in some cold water and shake off the excess water, not drying them completely.  Cut it straight down the middle, then sideways down the leaves into bite-size pieces.

Take some fresh garlic cloves and chop them into fine pieces. I’ll let you judge how much you want, I love garlic so I’m hardly objective when it comes to the amount.

Toss the kale, garlic, rosemary, thyme, marjoram, salt and pepper together in a closed Tupperware container with a little bit of olive oil. Spread it on the roll-pan and cook for about 20 minutes.

You’ll get a crispy snack that’s great on its own, or a great addition to a main dish – like some salmon or a hamburger.

Roasted Root Veggies

If you want a great side dish to compliment baked chicken or some tilapia, you can follow the above recipe with a few tweaks.

 Take 1-2 sweet potatoes, scrubbed and chopped into thick pieces. Scrub 2-3 beets, peeling off the “hairy” parts and chop into pieces tinier than the potatoes. Toss in the same ingredients and spread on a roll pain. Roast for 35-45 minutes on 425F until the veggies are soft on the inside and a bit crispy on the outside.

Beets have a lovely color but one that can stain a nice shirt – so wear an apron or cook in a bum shirt – you’ve been warned J

From my kitchen to yours –

<3 a

A Nashville Christmas

I know it's more than halfway through January, but here's a little Christmas cheer for you on this (very cold) Wednesday evening....

 I must say, this was my first time "fluffing" my Christmas tree...

 ...but look how pretty it turned out to be!

 Among the very funny, awkward family photos we took, this was the best.

 Celebrating our first Christmas as adults!

 Uno, tea, creme brulee... yes, please!

 Anna makes the best creme brulee, hands down.

Settling into our PJs to watch "It's a Wonderful Life."

And there you have it folks, a "Merry Christmas!" in the middle of January.  I'm so thankful for the friends that Jesus has provided for me here in this new season of my life. Not only do they love the Lord like crazy, but they're a lovely source of joy, laughter, encouragement. Plus, they cook extremely well.

I hope your Christmas was lovely, and that you carry the reminder of the Gospel with you always.

Much love,

<3 a 



from my corner of the café

I felt the need to get out of my apartment today and get some thoughts down, out of my head, just to help me sort things out. Now that I’ve found a tiny table in the Frothy Monkey and I’m surrounded by studying college students and chatter, the smell of coffee mixing with sounds of laughter and   images of hipsters dressed in plaid button downs and thick rimmed glasses, I have no idea where I wanted to start – or what I wanted to voice so badly. I’ve heard folks say that the college years are the most selfish   years of your life… mainly because everything in your life revolves around you. What school you’re going to go to, what you’re going to do with your life, what classes you’re going to take, who you’re going to hang out with, what you’re going to get involved in, or if you want to get involved with anything at all. What decisions are you going to make concerning how to live your  life and conduct yourself, what kind of character do you want to  be known for? Are you going to choose a job that you love versus a job that will give you financial security – are you going to be lucky enough to have a job that encompasses both? Who are you going to date? What kind of boyfriend or girlfriend are you going to be? Who are you going to live with and where? Are you going to go out on Friday night or stay in because you’re exhausted – are you going to admit that lame, but very real, excuse to your friends? In college, you get up whenever you want to – because going to   class isn’t something your parents can make you do anymore  (unless of course, they’re paying for your education – then they might have a little more authority over the matter). You eat whatever you want – in fact, you can have dessert first and choose  to skip your vegetables entirely (until you realize that that’s how you gain 15 pounds your freshman year). You can hang out with whoever  you want; do whatever you want, with no one over your shoulder   hounding you about the consequences. In fact, you’ll hate coming home by the end of your freshmen year because you aren’t used to parents suddenly enforcing a curfew on nightly activities. After all, you’ve been going to bed at 3am all semester and consider yourself pretty mature and responsible, so who are they to impose rules on you now? You’re in college. Some of that sound familiar? I’ll be honest: I never really hated coming home in college. As long as my parents were supporting me financially, I never had the guts or stupidity to tell them that I was an adult and they couldn’t give me direction on how to run my life. On the contrary, I liked the dependency that came with not having to graduate in a lot of debt – and I understood that if I had the nerve to say that to Momma Corley I would be looking for a part time job and taking out some student loans. I’d also be riding a bike everywhere – one that I would have to purchase on my own. Why? Because nearly everything I “owned” wasn’t mine at all, but my parents. I’d be left with a few clothes and things I’d purchased with my own money, but my car wasn’t going to be one of them. Thinking over the past 6 months of being a college graduate and transitioning into this period of adulthood, I’ve seen many interesting things and learned (or have had my thick skull been shown repeatedly) many lessons. Some fun, some funny – others hard and challenging. I’ll just elaborate on two for now: 1. Selfishness and 2. Ownership. Selfishness. College was NOT the most selfish time of my life. I’ve never felt more selfish than I do now. Now I have more free time than I know what to do with, and there’s nothing easier than wasting it entirely on myself. Now I just have one roommate instead of three,  which makes it two less people to consider with my living habits on a daily basis. Now I have a job with a steady income, which   means it’s so much easier to spend money on random impulses than it’s ever been before – because I have it to spend. Now I have a lot of alone time because I have such a random, abnormal schedule – which means I can be as quite or as loud, as clean or as messy, as active or as lazy, as my selfish little heart desires. There are days when I don’t even have to leave my apartment at all. There’s plenty of time to spend thinking about me. And can I just be the   first to admit that I’ve done all of those things – all of those easy, selfish things. To the point where I’m so self-absorbed it hurts. And it’s difficult to go through an entire conversation actually listening and investing in another person because I’m so consumed with me – What am I going to say next? What impression do they   have of me? Me. Me. Me. I’m so exhausted by myself. I think there are obvious reasons why Jesus placed an emphasis on serving and giving our lives away. Among those is the fact that service and generosity help meet the needs of those who need provision. However, there’s a level of distrust in my heart when I think about Jesus telling me to lay my life down. I want to cling to it. Now I’m beginning to understand what He meant when He said that those who try to save their life will lose it, but those who lose their life for Him will save it. Selfishness destroys. It destroys intimacy and fellowship, wrecks relationships and finances, and leads to self-pity and loneliness. But a life that is spent considering others as better than themselves, loving and pouring into folks, listening to and learning from others leads to a level of freedom that you can’t understand until you trust Jesus with your life, wasting it daily in obedience, believing that He is indeed able to guard what you’ve entrusted to Him until the last day. Which will lead me to lesson 2 in a bit, but first – here are a few ways to break that pattern of selfishness: 1.  Get involved. God has wired you with passions and talents for a reason. If you feel burdened over the sex-trafficking happening in our society today, get involved. If homelessness   weighs heavy on your heart, get involved. If orphan and widow ministry can’t escape your thoughts, get involved. From loving on kids in the nursery on Sunday mornings to living in an orphanage for a year – there are areas for you to serve in, in ways that God has already wired you for. 2.  Listen more. Often we talk to each other and don’t even listen. We might hear them, but we don’t often understand what they’re trying to communicate. I remember one of the first people I met in Nashville was named Trey Wince. We were at a bible study and we were paired up to talk about what God was doing in our lives. Trey said, “Let’s play the listening game. So one of us will talk, and then the other will repeat back what we heard, so we end up on the same page.” So he would talk, and then I would go, “So what I heard was…” This kind of “therapeutic communication” is used daily in my job as a nurse, but very little in my personal relationships. It doesn’t have to be that awkward or formal, but reiterating what the person said in a conversation can make them feel valued   and heard- and you have to concentrate more on what they’re saying as opposed to what your response is going to be. Now onto lesson 2: Ownership. I find that the same rebellious attitude we tend to have with our parents as adolescents is evident in our relationship with God Almighty for the majority of lives. I understood very early on that as long as my Dad was paying for things that I enjoyed and supporting me financially, he had the authority. I understood that the privilege of driving a car that he financially afforded and maintained for me meant that I had to respect my end of the deal and keep my grades up. I understood that him meeting what my scholarships didn’t cover for school meant that I’d better go to class because I knew I couldn’t afford tuition on my own. And even though it was incredibly irritating to hear “What time are you going to be home?” the summer after my freshman year, I quickly realized that throwing the “I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want” card was NOT the answer to anything but “Do you really want me to let you experience complete independence young lady?” Why? Because my parents owned just about everything I valued. So why is it that I feared my parents more than I fear the   Living God when it comes to my finances and possessions? With my time and my life? When everything I have, He owns. When even the breath in my lungs is on loan from Him – because I have been bought with a price. I am not my own. I can cheerfully part with 10% of my income in obedience, but when he calls me to give more how begrudgingly do I respond to Him? How quickly do I recognize that HE OWNS IT ALL, so if He wanted 90% and gave me 10% to live on it would be a gracious plenty? Again, I think there are obvious reasons why Jesus calls us to   give and tithe. In the Old Testament, the tithe provided provision for the priests of God’s house. In the New Testament, people didn’t just give 10% - they gave all they had to share with one another, and not one of the members of the early church lived in need. In fact, Jesus was more pleased with a widow who gave all that she had than He was with the buckets of money given by the rich, because (I think) He’s more concerned with our level of dependency on Him than He is on breaking the bank. He doesn’t need our tithe – He’s the one that meets all of our needs according to His glorious riches in Jesus. So why call us to give? Because (again, I think) He’s after our heart, after our affection, and after trust. Jesus is well aware that if we don’t recognize that He’s the   owner of everything and act accordingly to His lead, our possessions will soon possess us. That which we think we own will soon own us. That car that we wanted so badly will now have us tied down to a monthly payment we can’t afford and insurance that has to cover it. That smartphone now comes with a $30 chunk of change we must pay every month just to have the chance to “stay connected.” That stock we just had to invest in will keep us up at night when it starts to go down, and steal our sleep when it starts to go up, because we’ll always be concerned about gaining and losing money, and when the “right time” to sell will be. That house that we thought we could stretch our budget to fit, will now chain us to a mortgage we cannot afford and repairs that will have us signing up for overtime shifts just to foot the bill. Jesus understood that that’s not freedom at all. This lesson is perhaps the one that has wrecked me the most   because there are so many implications, implications that cover more than finances but all include stewardship. At the root of the wreckage is this one question, “What does it look like to invest in what will last with wisdom while I’m here on earth?” Do I really want to sink a lot of money into a house that won’t last? Do I really want to sink money into being burdened by the convenience of being constantly connected? When all of it could go into something that will last. Hear me quite clearly: this is not saying that having nice things is a bad thing, nor does it mean that having an iPhone means you have an issue with ownership. It really has nothing to do with the stuff you have, but everything to do with your heart. Furthermore: This post is not saying that I’ve got these things figured out. It’s simply saying that these are the things that I’ve been pondering lately – issues that are hitting up my heart. Issues that have led me to take Jesus at His word and as for wisdom – trusting that He gives it freely to those who recognize that they lack it. I do NOT have it all together. If you made it this far into the post and actually read it, you   get total props. As always, there is a welcome to leave your thoughts and wisdom here. I want to learn, even in the most unconventional places, from the most unexpected sources. Loving you all the way from my corner of the café, <3 a

worthy investments

I was talking to a very dear friend of mine a few weeks ago about how much I longed for Jesus to restore childlike faith in me. I’ve missed that passionate young girl whose heart beat for the nations to come to know Jesus as their Savior and Lord. Somewhere she got lost, her dreams were placed on the back burner, and her attention more and more fixed on “more practical matters” like work, saving her money, and setting herself up for a “comfortable” future.

I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror the other day getting ready to go out to lunch with my roommate. With my mascara wand in my hand, I realized how much I missed the girl who didn’t even know how to put concealer on her face. The girl whose average day did not include a full face of makeup because she was secure without it.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with working, being savvy with your finances, or wearing makeup. That’s not the point. The point is that none of those things will last, but they all require an investment of your time, attention and energy.

I’ve become more and more restless with myself – more and more tired of investing in the temporary. Somewhere, at some point, I stopped walking in the gracious truth that the Living God made me in His image – stitched me together with intention and beauty – and that nothing I could ever do or say could change His unconditional love for me. That He is not weak toward me, but mighty in me. That He’s pleased with me – not because of me, but because of Jesus’ righteousness that covers me. That He is not concerned with my outward appearance, but with my heart – and my heart will never be satisfied in any person, place, or thing but Him alone. And when my life is over, which it will be one day, I don’t want to be known for leaving a hefty savings account, etc. but as someone who had their eyes fixed on what is unseen. As someone who invested in the eternal.

Praise God for His faithfulness towards us. He is all about restoring, rebuilding, and healing us as He continues to make us more like Jesus. And He invites us to ask Him for things, like wisdom and willingness.  

<3 a

some of my favorites

Apparently, it’s really trendy to talk about healthy living tips right before we’re about to stuff our faces with amazing food. If you think about it, we spend a few months of the year just bursting with excitement at all the delicious treats we get to splurge on (maybe not you, but I do for sure!). Of course “they” would wait until that season to make me feel guilty about all that sweet, fatty food I’m planning on consuming. However, “they” have a point – a good one – and while I’m still planning on eating all kinds of treats, I do have some personal tips to share. These are foods that I’ve been incorporating into my diet the past few months, they’re quick, easy, healthy and they make my body feel incredibly well.

Here are my suggestions for your pre and post-holiday menus:

Current favorite soup: Amy’s Organic Lentil soup.

Let’s face it – nothing beats a hot bowl of soup on a cold winter day. With 8 grams of protein and 9 grams of fiber this soup will be sure to keep you feeling full for a while – and it’s only 180 calories. Combine it with a fresh side salad and you have one beautiful, tasty meal at home – or throw it in a Pyrex dish (like I often do) and take it to work with you.

Current favorite sandwich: Turkey and Avocado Mash

Don’t know what to do with that leftover turkey? In my family we make sandwiches and lots of them. So use your leftovers in a combination with fresh sprouts, tomatoes, and hummus (or avocado mash below) and stuff them in a whole wheat pita. Whole grains will help clear out some of that less-than-desirable cholesterol, lean meat is a great source of protein, sprouts and tomatoes are vegetables that add a cool crunch and fresh texture to any sandwich, and avocado is a great source of healthy fats. Rather than using unhealthy condiments, the hummus or avocado is a really great addition with more flavor. This sandwich is incredibly filling, but if it’s not enough you can combine it with some carrot sticks and you’re set!

Avocado mash: Take 1 ripe/softened avocado, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and cilantro to taste and mash. I know, complicated right? If you’ve got some lime juice and a dollop of sour cream (not so healthy, but tasty) – then go ahead and just make yourself a delicious guac dip.

Current Favorite Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal

When my doctor told me that I had borderline high cholesterol I was not excited. I like my butter and baking! Oatmeal is a great option for breakfast, especially if you combine it with some healthy protein – it’s bound to keep you full throughout your morning. You can use the instant stuff that’s loaded with an excessive amount sugar, or you can make your own.

I use McCann’s Quick and Easy Irish Oatmeal – it cooks in 5-7 minutes and still has a bit of crunch to it (so I don’t feel like I’m eating complete mush). While my water is heating, I’ll toss in pieces of dried, unsulfured and unsweetened apples (courtesy of Trader Joe’s), BUT when I have time to cut up fresh apples they’re the best. While the oatmeal is cooking, I add a generous amount of cinnamon and a couple dashes of allspice. 1 tsp of brown sugar will MORE than cover the sweet tooth in me, and bam: a hot breakfast in 7 minutes. If you’re like me and you need protein in the morning, scramble an egg white or two with some salt and pepper. Egg whites give you the protein without all the fat and cholesterol in a whole egg.

Favorite Vegetable: Steamed Kale with Apricots (or no apricots)

Kale is also a trendy food lately. It’s a great dark green, leafy veggie that is incredibly versatile. I toss it in a glass bowl with a bit of water, some garlic powder, pepper, and dried, unsulfured and unsweetened apricots and steam it in the microwave until it’s just barely soft. You can toss in a few chopped walnuts or almonds if you’d like for some added crunch. The apricots provide a tangy flavor. If that sounds disgusting to you, by all means the kale alone with some garlic is fabulous. It’s a great source of fiber, too!

Favorite Hot Beverage: Green Teas and Mint Teas

Enjoy your eggnog (for those of you who like it) and your hot chocolate, but before and after the holidays try some green tea. It’s no secret that it’s packed with antioxidants, but it tastes good and clean. Tea mixtures that combine green and mint teas are my favorite because the mint just boosts flavor and adds a really fresh element. Moroccan Mint Green Tea is a great option. If you MUST have your hot drinks sweet – go for a tea that has fruity tones in it – like pomegranate or blueberry green teas (which are also good cold). Cut out the sugar, or at least half of it. I’m a big fan of sugar – but I’d rather eat my sugar than drink it. I encourage you to choose your sugar wisely – eat what you really want and like, but then say no to the calories that really aren’t worth consuming.

Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas from Music City,

<3 a

PS: pictures of a Nashville Christmas to come – promise.