Call me crazy, but I started a journal to Little the night I
found out we were pregnant. Below is this morning’s entry, just for kicks and
giggles:
The eyes of the Lord
are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.- Proverbs 15:3
NKJV
For You formed my
inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I
am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it
very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret;
intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed
substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed
for me, when as yet there was none of them. – Psalm 139:13-16 ESV
My precious Little –
Today you are 14 weeks and 5 days –
they tell me you’re about the size of a lemon and 3 whole inches long! This
week you were busy growing hair and building your vocal cords…if you are
anything like me then you will have strong and loud ones J
Daddy is hanging out with Mr.
Daniel and Moe-Puppy is outside chasing squirrels and sunbathing, so it’s just
me and you on this quiet, sunny morning. I like sharing my mornings with you.
One thing Jesus has been reminding
me of lately is the reality that He sees me. He sees you, too! This week was
really busy and hard, and my feelings were very hurt at times. Plus, I was
worried about you – because I know that when I’m stressed, you are living in a
stressed-home, and I don’t want that! I want you to grow and thrive in a
peaceful place. Though I would forget, God reminded me a few times that He saw
us and all that we were going through, and that He is a safe place to come and
rest.
This morning I was reminded in
Proverbs that God sees everything – the good and the evil – which means He
never takes His eyes off of us. That makes me feel safe because even when bad
things happen, I can go to God and talk with Him about it, knowing He wasn’t
absent from it. He can show me a different perspective. He can show me and
teach me to see things and people the way that He sees them. He can show me His
heart on the matter. So I am never alone – and I don’t have to feel alone. I
can go to the Father and know that He not only sees me, but He watches over
everything that concerns me because He loves me.
Not only does God see us, Little,
but He sees the whole picture – the end from the beginning. So when I don’t
understand or when I feel “lost in the sauce” I can choose to trust that God
knows what He is doing. I can choose to trust that He is good, that He loves
me, that He is faithful to work all things out for His glory and my good. The
problem is making that choice, because sometimes it’s easier for me to trust my
feelings. Feelings are fickle, Little – they don’t dictate what is true.
So while you’re cooking, I have to
remind myself that God sees you. He is in control of your growth and
development and over this pregnancy. No matter what, I can trust Him with you
and with me. I have to remind myself that He sees me and your dad – He knows
what we need and will help us be the parents that you need and deserve. He will
help us shepherd you because you are His kid always before you are ours. While
you’re cooking, Mommy is learning how to trust her Heavenly Father.
I also want you to know how
intentional and purposed you are – from your body to your personality, gifts,
and talents, to the days of your life – you have never gone unseen by the Lord.
You’ve never been a surprise, never forgotten or unloved. You, my precious
Little, are divinely purposed and intentionally created with wisdom, joy and
love. Even though I can only see you through an occasional high-tech
ultrasound, Jesus sees you always. He loves you so, so much. For all of your
days, He will never fail to see you and to watch over all that concerns you. He
is a safe place for you always.
You are so loved.
- Mom
PS: You have your Mommy loving pickles, avocados, and
Mexican food. You are also starting to poke out more and Moe-Puppy doesn’t know
what to think! She’ll come nuzzle my belly when I sit on the floor to pet her –
I think she likes you J
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