A Desperate Desert and a Well of Water

So I’ve been reading through Genesis as part of my quiet time, and I’ve been reading all about Abraham lately. While there’s so much I could share with you guys about what God’s been teaching me, I want to focus on something I read today.

First, a little background: God shows up in Genesis 12 and calls this man Abram to leave his home and follow Him. He promises to make Abram a great nation, to bless him and make his name great, and even promises that Abram would be a blessing to others. God promises to bless those who blessed Abram and curse those who cursed him…”and in you (Abram) all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (Genesis 12:1-3, KNJV). So Abram leaves his home and follows God, but let it be known that He was childless. His wife Sarai was barren and they were old. Biologically speaking, the time for popping out babies was over. So where was this nation going to come from? Sarai decides that the only way for Abram to have a kid, a future heir, is to give him her handmaiden Hagar (a common practice for that time and culture, but still a bit screwed up). So Abram and Hager have a son together named Ishmael.  Before Ishmael is born, Hagar runs away from Sarai (they had a little tension), but God appears to her and calls her back to Sarai and Abram. In Genesis 16:13 says, “Then she (Hagar) called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees”; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?””  Hagar goes back to Abram and Sarai, and God shows up and makes a covenant to Abram – changes his name to Abraham and Sarai’s name to Sarah – and promises Abraham and Sarah a son of their own – Isaac, the son of the promise, the son of the covenant – through which the Hebrew nation would be born.  Sarah laughs at God when she hears this – because again, the baby making days were long gone.

Genesis 21 begins… “And the LORD (Yahweh) visited Sarah as He said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had spoken. For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.” (v1-2).

Can we just sit in that for a second? The LORD not only makes promises, He keeps them…and He doesn’t just fulfill His promises, He fulfills them at the set time.

Moving on: When Isaac is weaned, Abraham throws a huge feast, and Sarah happens to catch Ishmael (now about 13, if I’m doing my math correctly) scoffing (what teen doesn’t scoff, right?) and tells Abraham to cast out Hagar and Ishmael. This distresses Abraham, because Ishmael is his son too! But God shows up and tells Abraham to heed the voice of his wife Sarah, indicating that He will take care of Ishmael as well. So Abraham obeys God again, and gives Hagar some bread and water and sends her and Ishmael away.  They wonder in the wilderness and eventually run out of water. Hagar hides Ishmael under some bushes and walks away – “for she said to herself, ‘Let me not see the death of the boy.’ So she sat opposite him, and lifted her voice and wept (Genesis 21:16).”

Here’s where it gets good: “And God heard the voice of the lad. Then, the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said to her, ‘What ails you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, lift up the lad and hold him with your hand, for I will make him a great nation. Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. And she went and filled the skin with water, and gave the lad a drink. So God was with the lad; and he grew and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer. He dwelt in the wilderness of Paran; and his mother took a wife for him from the land in Egypt (Genesis 21:17-21).

Few things that stood out to me:

1.       Hagar had already seen God show up in her life – “You are the God who sees me.” She had already been given a promise by God that He would take care of Ishmael as well. And yet, at the end of her rope and what she thought was their lives, she speaks to herself. She weeps.  And when God shows up, He doesn’t say that it was her voice He heard, but Ishmael’s.

2.       God hears us and shows up. He heard Ishmael where he was and met Hagar and Ishmael in the middle of their desert, where they were, as they were – hopeless, weeping, fearful, and what they thought was near death.

3.       God addresses Hagar by name – He recognizes her agony and encourages her not to fear. He is personal – He sees her and speaks hope into her seemingly hopeless situation.

4.       God opens her eyes.  In Hagar’s desperation, in the middle of the desert she found herself in, God opens her eyes to see a well of water. When Hagar's resources had run out, God opened her eyes to His provision. When all Hagar saw was a desert – was pending death –God shows up and shows her a well of water – He provides life-giving, sustaining, replenishing, refreshing water.

5.       God was with Ishmael – and while His covenant with Abraham was fulfilled through Isaac, He kept His promise to Hagar. He keeps His word. He is present with us. The same God who showed up and visited Sarah, fulfilling His promise to Abraham and Sarah through Isaac, is the same God who showed up in the lives of Hagar and Ishmael.

I’m not sure where this hits you, if it hits you at all, but maybe you just need to know that God sees you. He knows you’re name, He hears you where you are, and He will meet you there. Maybe you’ve never heard that truth, or maybe (like me) you need to be reminded that you are known, heard, and seen by God Most High. Maybe you need God to open your eyes to see a well of water in the middle of your desert – maybe you’re at the end of your rope, or you’re in a low place and you just need life-giving and life-sustaining refreshment. Maybe you’re just struggling to see what God sees as God sees, like me, and you just need Him to open your eyes, to renew your vision.  Maybe you've exhausted all of your resources, options, and wisdom and you just need new eyes to see His faithful and full provision. I believe He will open our eyes, all we need to do is ask in faith. In the middle of our lowest, darkest, driest and barren places – the living God meets us there.  Maybe you need to hear that God is present. He doesn’t just see you – He stays with you. His heart is for you – He loves you completely and constantly, and no matter where you are, in whatever season, He is with you. You are not alone in the desert, and you are not outside of the grace of God. Maybe you just need to be reminded that God keeps His word – He is trustworthy. He is for your good, and at the set time He will show up and provide for you. Like it was in Sarah’s situation, it might not look like what you think – she acted in her own wisdom with suggesting Abraham have a baby with Hagar. However, God redeems all things. He makes all things beautiful.

 

lots of love,

a

Postdate: Winter

I’ve had a few things written in my journal that I’ve wanted to post and haven’t taken advantage of my free time to type them out. This particular post is from this winter, and there will probably be a few more postdates to follow. It’s been such a good reminder to read back over the last year of my life in paper, to see God’s faithfulness in spite of my forgetfulness, to relearn lessons from a different perspective, to see God’s goodness and His hand in my life with renewed vision. Here it goes, and like always, it’s long:

This past week has proven more than any other time that I am in fact an introvert. A friend has been crashing my house and I’ve worked overtime this week. I feel exhausted. The thought of interacting with people makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious at the moment. Ironically, I find myself at The Well, a coffee shop teeming with people. Even now I feel mildly overstimulated.

Having someone live with me for the past few days has taught me a few things:

1.       I am introverted. I need my slow mornings alone with no one else up or present. I need uninterrupted time with Jesus privately. I need time to myself in the mornings or else I feel off center after a while, irritable and stressed.

2.       I am independent. Someone else cooking and cleaning has become foreign to me. Things are done differently. Maybe I have a mild case of OCD, but I’ve learned/am learning to appreciate the help and company.

3.       My house, resources and I are all avenues for ministry. Jesus can use a couch, a cup of tea, and reruns of favorite TV shows maybe just as well to replenish and nourish a soul as a church service or bible study…at least, I think He can. I hope He can. I hope more than ever that she has found a place of encouragement here, that she has been ministered to and blessed during her stay…Not because of me, but maybe Jesus moving in me. I hope He is. I hope it’s His house, His couch, His resources and Himself doing the work.

4.       I am selfish and prone to gossip. Being an introvert is fine, but being selfish is not. Venting can be healthy to unleash, but gossip is never ever beneficial or right. As a human and as a woman, I am prone to both. I am used to having my own space, and no one to consider outside of myself in that space. My mornings and life have routines that don’t include other things or people. So having someone new in that space coexisting with their own routines colliding with yours is a rude awakening. My couch where I have my quiet times in the morning, where I watch TV at night, is now someone else’s bed. My bathroom, which I normally have to myself, is now being shared when I’m typically most in need of space to myself. All at once, I’m suddenly irritated that someone is in my shower, or that someone else is awake, or that I tiptoe around my apartment trying not to wake another soul.

Another soul.

How selfish of me to be so stingy with my space – to be so stuck in routine that I miss the reality that this other person is not just a body but a soul. Not just another form of matter taking up space, but a child of God – a reflection of Him, a treasure who has done nothing wrong at all, who does not deserve irritation or frustration at all. They deserve nothing but love, compassion, and grace. It would be revolutionary if I could see as Jesus sees.

In Mark 6 you see Jesus send out the 12 disciples 2 by 2 to do ministry. When they get back in v30 and tell Him all about what happened, Jesus calls them to come away to a deserted place and “rest a while” (v31). BUT starts v32, as a “multitude” follows them and arrive before them. Can you imagine the disciples first thoughts as they pull the boat up to shore and see thousands of people clamoring for attention, hungry for healing?  I can imagine mine would be far from pretty or loving or kind. Yet Jesus’ response?

“And Jesus, when he came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd. So He began to teach them many things.”

                                                                                                                                                -Mark 6:34 NKJ

The disciples don’t utter a recorded word until later in the day. They wanted Jesus to send the people away to get food with their own resources. When challenged to meet their (the multitude’s) need, the disciples cried out in disbelief, thinking monetarily (or “practically”). Jesus points them to the resources they already have and tells them to bring them to Him.

There’s a quote my friend Anne shared with me once, I have it tacked to my bulletin board at home. It references the lesson of the loaves:

  “Human resources, no matter how limited, when willingly given and divinely inspired are more than enough to accomplish divine goals.” – S.Briscoe

I wonder what the difference was between Jesus’ and the disciples’ vision in this circumstance? I think Jesus was equally fatigued – later you see Him withdrawing by Himself to pray. I think the disciples see their fatigue, the overwhelming crowd and their limited resources. I think Jesus saw with compassion. He saw past His fatigue and saw individuals without a Savior. He saw that limited resources were unleashed in the limitless power of God.

You know the end of the story – Jesus feeds over 5,000 people and has only 5 loaves and 2 fish to start with. He gathers 12 basketfuls of leftovers, conveniently the same number of disciples. Later, in v52, Mark lets us know that the disciples were a bit daft: ”For they had not understood about the loaves, because their heart was hardened.”

How many times have I heard this story and my heart been hardened? I pray it’s soft now…soft enough for the lesson of the loaves to sink deep into my heart and take root. That I would learn to see as Jesus sees:

                That in my fatigue and exhaustion and burnout He is my Sustainer, my Rest, my Supply and Shield

                That in my limited self He is limitless

                That He provides what I need before I’m aware of my need, and that when I place it back into His hands it meets and exceeds the needs of the multitude.

                That compassion drives the direction of my actions. Jesus’ response to the multitude flowed out of His compassion for them. I can’t begin to minister to others until I have compassion for myself and for others.

 

Compassion for myself sounds selfish, but it’s true, I think. If I can’t accept the ugliest parts of me with compassion then I’ll never see myself as Jesus sees me. I’ll never be driven to the Shepherd until I see my lack of and need for Him…and I’ll never come to Him (for fear of punishment) if I don’t believe He sees me with compassion. Furthermore, I’ll never walk in genuine compassion until I’ve experienced His personally and practice it in my life towards myself and others. This is not justifying sin, but embracing God’s grace for me in Jesus.

When I begin to see others with compassion, it’s a sign that I’ve experienced life with the Shepherd and want that for others. I no longer see them with the harshness I once viewed myself with because I am not far removed from where they are. I was a sheep without a shepherd, but now I am home in His love. My resources are in His hands and all things are possible. I know longer need to worry on how He’ll provide rest or meet my needs, I can trust that He will and walk with Him – an instrument of His to love, to teach, and to feed the multitude.

God created me as an introvert. He knows that I like quiet mornings and that I need time alone to replenish. However, in my selfishness I have missed opportunities to have compassion on others. I’ve seen my fatigue, my exhaustion and irritability, and my lack outside of His hands. If I could learn to place all of me, even the most exhausted, grossest, ugliest self into His compassionate hands, maybe multitudes would encounter the Good Shepherd. Maybe they would see His power and faithfulness in my incredible weakness.

love,

a