six weeks

It’s Friday night and I’m settled into my couch with a glass of Pinot Noir and Lars and the Real Girl. Dinner was an improvised form of ziti and dessert came in the form of a Ben and Jerry’s container with a spoon…let it be known that I didn’t eat the entire pint J That would be too cliché. Earlier today I balanced and budgeted finances (sorta), met some friends from college at a local coffee shop (such a blessing), and ran some errands. I bought a dress I didn’t budget for, and spent money I didn’t need to on a set of wine glasses and some Indian spices (recipes to experiment with and share will come, I promise).  Right now, in this moment, my life seems pathetically ordinary, boring maybe, but sweet.

I came home from work Thursday night completely ecstatic. My last day of rotation was by far my favorite, and not just because it was on L&D. My preceptor was incredible, my patient delivered a healthy baby like a champ, and I didn’t stop or eat lunch until 3:30pm. I walked out of the hospital having worked a half hour later than I was supposed to, but I was too thrilled to care. Whether or not I’m placed on L&D, I’m one blessed woman and I like my job so far.

I spoke with Mama John on the phone today. I love me some Mama John. We’ve played phone tag for about two weeks, and her voicemails have a way of warming and breaking my heart all at the same time. Warm because I have the love of such an incredible elder and broken because she’s afraid I’ll forget her. I wish she knew how impossible that would be – I’ve adopted her as my grandmother for a while now. She asked me if I’d met anyone “exciting.” She mentioned waiting for a phone call one day from me saying, “I’m married!”  As I sit here with my glass of wine, I have to smile – what do I know about dating? She told me things like, “You have plenty of time” (in a way that didn’t make me uncomfortable in my singleness) and “I love you” and “I pray over you, that you might know the hope that you have in Christ Jesus, and the peace and joy of Jesus – hope that does not disappoint” and she always says “Bye-bye darlin’” when she hangs up the phone.  

I’ve been living in Nashville now for 6 weeks now – six weeks of an emotional roller coaster. Six weeks of insane highs followed by incredible lows. Six weeks full of richness, laughter, loneliness, and tears – moments of sheer bliss followed by moments of utter frustration. There have been moments of raw vulnerability and confession, followed by moments of stubborn and obstinate pride. As awful as an emotional rollercoaster sounds (and is), it has been a beautifully challenging six weeks.

 Simplicity has become somewhat of a theme over these past few weeks. The reality that life is complicated can’t be denied. However, as the weeks have rolled on, I’ve felt this incredible desire for simplicity in my walk with Jesus. Things just don’t seem so complicated with Him – they seem hard, but straight forward: Come to me. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. Pray for your enemies. Take care of the widow and the orphan. Feed the hungry. Clothe and care for the “least of these.” Go. Make disciples. Teach. Obey. Rest. Trust. In other words – “Come to me – bring all of you, the good, bad and ugly, and rest in my love. When you come to me in confession, it draws you closer to me and deeper into the reality of my grace. These resources I’ve blessed you with – use them to bless others. I mean what I’ve said in My Word.” While the application may get a little complicated, the reality that my faith is and should be practically lived out is a place where I want to dwell.  What I’m finding is that it’s freeing to take Jesus at His word. There’s freedom in confession. Freedom in feeding the hungry. Freedom in loving the widow. Freedom in obedience.

Forgive the random post. 
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