from yesterday...

Today was one of those slow Saturdays – I slept in really late because my time clock was off from working nights. Having not slept but 3 hours the day before, I woke up from nice 11 hour slumber and stayed in bed for an hour just getting acquainted with the day.  My roommate and her parents had gone car shopping earlier that morning, and so I had the whole apartment to myself. I did a few easy chores, watched a bit of The Patriot (always a favorite of Mel Gibson’s films), made some breakfast (at 1pm) and took it easy before meeting an old friend for coffee.
On my way to get coffee (which neither of us really drink), I got incredibly lost and wound up in East Nashville. There was this really cute festival that blocked off a couple streets in Five Points. Taylor met me there and we wandered around for a bit before settling into a corner table in a nearby coffee shop.

One of the things that I’ve loved about Nashville so far has been the culture. I’ve seen so many different kinds of people with vastly different styles, smells, languages, and ways about them. From the super wealthy to the poorest poor – it feels like a Southern melting pot that I never saw back home in South Carolina. I’m not really a city person, but I love the vibrant differences and quirks I’ve seen here so far – especially on the East side of town.

There is a scene in The Patriot that struck me today and almost brought me to tears. When he comes home from battle, he greets his little girl and she runs from him. Before leaving again for war, his daughter won’t speak to him at all – and all he wants is for her to say goodbye to him. As he walks away, the girl breaks into tears and runs after him – begging him not to go. He says that he’ll come back, and asks her if she believes him. Not to spiritualize the movie, but it made me think - I wonder how it feels when I do the same thing to Jesus.

How often have I run from His presence?

How often has He asked me to speak with Him and I’ve remained silent?

Chesed – it’s that unrelenting pursuit and love that He has for me. How often do I embrace it, rest in it, trust it?

Monday marked my one month anniversary in this new place. It has been incredibly challenging to process with the busy-ness of work. I’m ready to be through with rotations and assigned to a unit. I’m ready for some semblance of a routine that might open up avenues to having a life outside of the hospital. It’s been incredibly hard some days, but this whole time has been such a sweet reminder of how blessed I am and how gracious my God is. I feel like I’m constantly missing the mark, but all the more reminded and challenged to trust His word and faithfulness, rather than in my feelings or perspectives. I’m so thankful for His patience with me.

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