fragile

today was such a normal monday - got up way to early to take a test, came home and slept for way to long - procrastinated from studying, spent way too much time - if not all of my time - focused on myself. called a friend to see if i could crash dinner early, only to hear her crying on the other end of the phone.

i thought she was sick, or had an overwhelming day. she was not sick.

she told me a friend of ours had died today - an accident - something about a bike and a car. i felt a knot form in my stomach, told her i was coming over, and hung up. i'll be honest - i wasn't super close to this person. i barely knew him, but what i did know pointed me to Jesus. my friendship with him involved swing dancing and the occassional hang-out time with mutual friends. he was one of the most patient men i've met - and one of the most talented dancers. he was not afraid of my two left feet or my insecurity - and he made dancing fun. he was hilarious - he was unafraid to be himself.

had i not been reminded the day before that God is God and that God is good no matter what - this news would've been received with an angry "Why?" Instead, i got into my car, tried to breath, and claimed that God is still God, and that God is still good. My life is fragile - lately it seems i've lost sight of the Kingdom - of the reality of heaven - of the Gospel- of home. my story, apart from the Lord, will be forgotten, all my investments and efforts to acquire wealth, success, approval, and 'security' will be for nothing. BUT my story woven into the Story of the Universe - written by the Author of Salvation - will not be wasted. it comes down to complete submission once again... a change in perspective, a total uprooting from a fleshly worldview.

he left a community saddened but filled with joy, as a friend said, 'he meant so much to so many people. he taught me how to fear and love the Lord.' in one of matt's blog posts he wrote the following quote. i feel like it's fitting, and it gives me hope as the Lord continues to sanctify me.

"God is slowly correcting what has been covered for far too long, recovering my desire, my feelings, my soul. I don't know where are a lot of things are going, which is comforting, as it means I'm not in control, and the world is much bigger than I." - mr. matt king