the Gospel

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst." - 1 Timothy 1:15

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -Hebrews 12:2

hmm... as i look back on today, the past week, month, semester, few years... the extent of my screw ups is overwhelming. the more i look at my screwed up past and "present" state... the more i wonder if Jesus is thinking about changing his mind on me. BUT my mistake has been looking down at me instead of fixing my eyes on Him. the beauty of the Gospel is that "I was. He is." (Carly Kay).

hebrews 12:1 talks about throwing off the sin that "so easily entangles" and "running with perseverance the race marked out for us"... all of which sounds well and good, but by fixing my eyes on Jesus, He enables me to run in such a way that i do "not grow weary or lose heart."

i'm super good at focusing on the fact that i'm a failure when i've screwed up. in my pride i might not admit it, but in my heart it eats away. the perfectionist murders joy and distracts me from the hope that I have in the truth that Jesus "for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat at the right hand of the throne of God."

the beauty of the Gospel, is that Jesus bridged a gap, carried me to the Table, handed me a plate of potatoes and said "here, eat, enjoy, then pass it around." he did NOT bridge the gap, and expect me to come to the table on my own two legs, with a 5 course meal perfectly cooked and arranged - he didn't even ask me to bring a side dish or a roll of paper towels... the beauty of the Gospel, an aspect of it anyways, is that He rescued me, carried me, and without expecting me to bring anything to the table on my own, said "here...take this, enjoy the feast, pass the potatoes."

i want to soak in the beauty that is the Gospel - though it's grace and love i'll never fully understand.
<3