Humility and Community

To say that my life has been a whirlwind since my last post might be a bit overdramatic, but it has been a little busy. Moving is always stressful – and I always feel so burdened by all of the crap that I have. I was blessed to have the company and muscles of my mom, brother Pat, and O’pa – they were phenomenal. I’m officially unpacked and getting to know my little duplex. It’s old and a bit creaky – but we’re getting along just fine J I’ve been reading through some of the letters in the New Testament. It’s been neat to see how the Lord uses different authors with different backgrounds to share and facilitate in the same message. He’s so sovereign over His Word; it’s exciting to see how it all ties together. 1 Peter 5 was so convicting and encouraging that I had to read it twice… it’s always cool to see Jesus point His gracious finger on an area of my life that isn’t in tune with His heart, and then bring Scripture to my mind to reveal His point. For two weeks I hadn’t been able to sleep throughout the night… I saw 2am and 4am every night. I was frustrated and tired, but I just put up with it. I’d mention it to my mom, or to a friend, but did I bring it before the Lord first? No. I just figured eventually I’d get so tired that I would have to sleep through the night. 1 Peter 5:5-7 just kind of brought some truth and conviction.  “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another and be clothed with humility, for ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I tend to either shoulder my care by myself, or turn to other things or people, before I present it before the Lord. There’s a whole lot of pride and stubbornness at the root of that tendency. I read this chapter the first time a couple mornings ago. That night, I’d mentioned my lack of sleep to a friend, who volunteered to pray over it, but it didn’t really occur to me to apply the passage to my own life and bring the issue before the Lord first. In frustration, I asked Jesus to help me sleep. I woke up 7 hours later for the first time in two weeks. As I was lying in bed, I could just hear Jesus’ voice calmly reminding me of the verses I had read the morning before. “I care about every detail of your life; I want you to come to me. I’m for you, and you can trust Me.” Walking in humility is incredibly difficult for me, so I love that Peter gives insight into how to do it, rather than just saying, “Hey guys – be humble!” Humility involves casting my cares – what I value, what consumes my thoughts, what I’m worried about or wrestling with, what I love, etc. upon the Lord. When I cast my care upon the Lord, I remove them from my shoulders, placing them into His hands, trusting that He cares for me. I’m no longer depending on myself to handle things, but I’m completely dependent upon Him. It puts me into a posture of humility, one that practically reminds me that God is God, and that I am not. It’s an admission that I can’t but He can. When He holds all of my care, then I have to trust that He’ll meet my needs and take care of me in the way that’s best for me. Peter goes on to talk about resisting Satan, referring to him as a “roaring lion, seeking whom He may devour.” (5:8) I love that in verse 9, God encourages us to “Resist him (Satan), steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”  How often do I buy into the lie that I’m alone in my struggle with sin? I see the pretty, put-together-outside of other believers and miss the reality that our struggle with sin is universal. Believing the lie that I’m alone, or that my sin is too gross to let anyone into, isolates me in fellowship and makes me weak with shame. I think that’s why the Lord calls us to, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16)” and why He calls us to “know” that we, as the body of Christ, experience the same sufferings. He knows better than we do how lions hunt the prey that’s weak and separated from their pack. It’s why He encourages us in Hebrews: “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:23-25)” Not only was I hit with the conviction of not coming to the Lord with my cares or concerns, but I was also convicted of not making fellowship or corporate worship with other believers a priority. Walking in humility is not only consistently turning to the Lord and trusting Him with every aspect of my life, but it’s also doing life with other believers, living in community and confession, encouraging one another and bearing each other’s burdens. I’m not going to lie, that’s not always a pretty or easy picture, but it’s so much better. We were not meant to do life alone – we’ve been called to so much more.   <3 a

24

The last twelve hour shift of the week felt like an eternity of charting, dealing with noncompliant patients with extensive psycho-social history, and juggling two incredibly helpful nursing students. I felt like I could fly on the knowledge that at 0645 the next morning I would be flying home. Sasha dropped me at the airport and security made sure everyone knew it was my birthday. I had to laugh, because they were so joyful at 4:30am. I made it through security in record timing, by now I’ve got it down to a science. After a quick stop in Atlanta, I landed in Charlotte. Mom wasn’t there yet, so I headed to baggage claim. I got a phone call and practically ran to meet her as she walked into the airport. It was the best hug ever. Mom mentioned she brought a surprise with her, and I turned to see the lovely HannahB walk out of the bathroom. There were squeals of excitement and another best hug ever, collecting of bags, and then an everlasting trip to Ikea. That place is a brilliant marketing strategy: let’s trap our customers in a maze so they can’t leave! Hannah crashed somewhere between Rock Hill and Columbia, so Mom and I got some good time talking and catching up. I love that woman. Moe and Bella greeted us in the driveway and immediately rolled over for their tummy rubs. That night we baked scones and feasted on veggies and hummus for dinner (well, the guys had pizza). My birthday morning was spent with a cup of green tea and time spent on the porch with my parents. The boys eventually woke up, Hannah and I went for a walk, and then we all piled in the car on a hunt for sunglasses. Mom made lasagna for dinner, the grandparents came over, we feasted. Hannah made a brilliant cheesecake for me. It was a solid birthday – mainly because I wasn’t the center of attention. Can I just brag on my brother Patton for a second? He drove up to Clemson, got an extra kayak, shot me a text that said, “Kayaking at 11 tomorrow” and totally swept me up for a day on the river with my best friend?? He’s so thoughtful and gentle at heart, I loved it. Pat’s not one to really talk – like when he came out onto the porch and I said, “So how’s life” his response was, “I came out to rest!”  So the fact that he took initiative, was super patient with us, and used his own gas money, etc. was just impressive. Such a good time with him and his friends, and even O’pa tagged along! Dad grilled out, we feasted even more. My family keeps me laughing when I’m home. Each one has such a unique personality, sense of humor, and joyful element that they bring to the table. Hannah and I giggled like little girls before falling asleep.  It was such a blessing to get to see her for an entire weekend. I got to catch up with Merid and Bryson on Sunday, which was so sweet to see them. Mom and Dad dropped me off at the airport in Charlotte before Mom convinced him to go to Ikea again with her. I made the first flight with no problem, but a delay had me literally running through Atlanta in my beaded sandals and yellow skirt. I feel like I'm always running in airports. Adrien picked me up in Nashville and we stopped in for some Thai takeout on the way home… such a great end to such a lovely birthday weekend. I’m one happy and extremely blessed 24 year old. <3 a