derailed

jesus -
it's amazing how quickly i can let a circumstance derail my entire day and attitude. one unexpected move, icky performance, hurtful comment, and all bets are off. that moment replays in my head like a broken record - just inciting the emotions coursing through my body even more. and in a split second - i give into the circumstance, to the feelings associated with them, and no one would see You in me at that moment. Father teach me to be content in every circumstance, to trust you at all times, to pour out my heart to you, for you are my refuge. In these moments, I realize where I've built my foundation - and it has not been in and on You. Jesus my life is not a house of cards that, with even the slightest wrong move or breath, will come crashing down in hopeless ruins. You hold my life. You determine my steps. You are in control. You are the Almighty, the first and the last - in You all things hold together. I confess my unbelief, pride, selfishness, and those foul words that slip through my lips in those moments. I thank you for them - for teaching me that You hold today and that You are still good, still God, still on your throne, and who I am in you has not changed. You love me with an unconditional, unfailing love. You rise to show me compassion, your mercies are new each day - and you are enough. I need you. Today is yours, have your way in me - for i am yours and not my own. Give me faith to take You at Your word, to start believing You and not just things about You.
<3 your daughter.